We’ll keep this short but with an example. Let’s say someone just lost their job. How would we respond…
Sympathy
Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone. It lacks depth. We can see someone is going through a tough time and we feel bad for them, and it ends there.
“I’m sorry to hear you lost your job”….
There isn’t anything else being said after this, the person would likely change the subject here.
Empathy
As Brene Brown says, empathy is perspective taking, staying out of judgement and feeling with others. It requires us to reach inside and connect with a something that knows how they are feeling.
“I’m sorry to hear you lost your job… how are you doing?”
“I remember that feeling, it’s rubbish”
It often starts with an interest or curiosity and follows up with reflection of their feelings.
Empathy isn’t telling them what to do. And it isn’t talking about your own experience for the next 30 minutes. It’s being there with the person.
Compassion
Compassion is often described as empathy + action.
“I’m sorry to hear you lost your job… how are you doing?”
“I remember that feeling, it’s rubbish”
“How can I help”?
Compassion isn’t just sitting with the emotion. It’s taking steps to help that person move forward it when they are ready.
Just be mindful of not rushing someone to move on who hasn’t been heard and understood first. Compassion is not just telling someone to do something because it helped you. Compassion is understanding first and then support to take the steps needed.
W.R.A.P